Vent! Letting It All Air Out

To be empathetic or to be sympathetic?

What do these words mean? Sympathy is feeling, showing, or expressing pity or sorrow for someone else’s misfortune. Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s situation. (Definitions are explained according to Dictionary.com) One is not better than the other, but one is more compassionate and supportive. Being able to analyze which category you fall in will help in future encounters with people you know or don’t know.

For example, I am an empathic person. I overstand rather than “understand”. I don’t know why but it helps me connect with people on a deeper level. Being empathetic leaves me vulnerable to getting hurt but I don’t focus on that. I will stay true to myself because it’s make me feel better as a person and strengthens character.

Now don’t get it confused, people who display sympathy ALL the time are more than likely commiserating others which can be condescending. The reason they are typically sympathetic is usually because they are relieved they don’t share the same problems. It’s the same reasoning as to why people laugh at others demise, laughter permits us to externalize our relief for the fact that it’s not our issue. Sympathy as a natural response to other people’s problems is typically from experiencing their own difficulties and feeling like they weren’t being assisted or heard.

To maintain a positive and honest relationship, empathy is key. The lesson to be learned is stop basing your future decisions off of past experiences. It’s a never ending cycle and does nothing but stunt your growth! Try it, what you got to lose other than negative traits. Keep in mind, you choose who deserves your empathy or sympathy but honing that power will empower others to imitate your actions and hopefully improve theirs.

Stop answering to irrelevant people

Why do you respond to anyone who doesn’t contribute to your success? It’s a mental thing and maybe even insecurities or ego issues. Humans typically feel the need to explain themselves as a way to be honest or to boost another person’s self worth. It’s understandable because we know that we would want the same. BUT we don’t owe anyone anything! Those that truly value and respect you won’t even care about the explanation because they know your true intentions. People who ask for a reason to your actions or your situation are probably so depressed and desperate for outside drama that they feel validated by questioning you! It’s a control issue.

I laugh when people think that their words will affect how I respond. My life choices have nothing to do with anyone but me ! People who blame you for how their lives transpire are just projectionists. They reflect their own views on themselves through animosity and resentment towards others. These people are very insecure and unhappy with their lives. Stay away from these idiots! Don’t let them change your mood or energy. In my experience dealing with these types of issues, I just send positive vibes to the universe and meditate to calm my mind. In the end, I’m grateful to have released myself from those negative traits and the things that come along with it. Focus on your mental health and goals. Your happiness is more valuable than responding to irrelevant situations. Choose what you decide to spend your energy on wisely!

Stop lying

As a child, lying is the first step in deception that we learn to master. Through life experiences, you should overstand that it isn’t a good idea when establishing your integrity and value on this planet. Yet, some people grow into adults with the same mindset. Unfortunately, by then it is a habit and they become manipulative. Those who manipulate are very insecure so they feel if they can control or dominate another person it’s an accomplishment. They need to breadcrumb or lead on others who have true intentions so they can mooch and thrive off of their success and love. These people can also have narcissistic tendencies.

Ladies Night Podcast on Shoot Da Ish Topic: Dating in 2023

My recent experience with a narcissist was an ex boyfriend who fed me what I wanted to hear. He played on my compassionate and trustworthy ways. I feel that the internet dating scene makes loving people susceptible to being tricked especially when they often trust others until they are crossed. I will never change who I am but I have cultivated that I need to be more cautious in order to protect myself and others in my life. Karma is a powerful force that works to my advantage due to my genuine intentions. It doesn’t mean that I won’t be tested by others who play on my kindness. It does mean that as long as I trust the process and gain knowledge from mistakes, I will be okay. I feel sometimes my lessons are for others whom I love in my life. I don’t mind sacrificing my emotions and energy so I can offer advice regarding a future issue that someone whom I know and love may encounter. Bottom line is check your references when meeting someone new and pay attention to the signs.

Never forget there are things that LIE in belief 🙃

Don’t change!

It’s difficult to be a real motherfucker and still have a large quantity of genuine friends. It’s like they say, the life of a genius is a lonely one. Genius to me is deeper than intelligence; it’s emotional maturity. Loneliness makes desperate people act out of character to fit in but I’m here to tell you DONT CHANGE! I know it’s tempting af but don’t cross that line. Never let a situation or a person transform who you really are. That’s how we get tested by the universe everyday. The Earth’s karmic energy has a way of revealing a person’s true intentions and motives.

The worst thing you can do is deny how disgusting someone is behaving or treating you. It won’t help them become a better person and you will now be an accomplice to their actions. Simply put, you may lose authentic relationships if you stick around those who don’t add value to your life. Personally, I enjoy non liabilities. These are the people who just want to be positive and spread motivation as well as inspire others. I feel if it’s doesn’t contribute to my success and happiness then I don’t need it around me. Once you realize your true self worth and merit, it will be a no brainer to seeing your true fate. Just love yourself and don’t change who you are! Your uniqueness is what makes this world a better place.

I wanna make a special shoutout to my grandma, Marion Adaline Miller (dads side) who was called back home on January 22nd, 2023. She lived to 90 years old and because of her connection to Antonio Proctor (her great great great grandfather) who was the only free black among slaves and helped America gain Florida, she leaves a legacy that makes me proud to be a Miller! Check out the latest podcast episode 👇🏾

It’s okay to say no!

Our society taught us through the media that it’s acceptable to say one thing to someone’s face but act differently otherwise. Get out of that passive aggressive cycle. It doesn’t help any situation and can create issues within relationships. Plainly speaking, it’s okay to say no. You don’t have to be mean or vengeful but be assertive and firm. Explain your reasoning if it makes you feel better but just let your response be known. No one is a mind reader, even if they claim to be. Personally I don’t feel the need to justify my answer but you will respect it.

Saying NO allows you to live your life the way that you want to. It also lets you know if you are in a healthy relationship with the important people in your life. Also negative souls tend to you leave you alone when you are assertive. Nipsey Hussle once said, “The company you keep has a large influence on the situations you bring to yourself.” Surround yourself with those who allow you to be vocal about your decisions and respect your choices. We all have different opinions and perspectives on things but it’s on us to understand and respect each other. It starts with respecting and loving yourself. The security of self-love is what inspires others to follow suit. P.S. Click the video below and check me out as a guest on the Nervous Breakdown!👇🏾

Check it out! Click the video☝🏽

Kill your ego

Your ego is your sense of self esteem and self importance. It can be an upgrade or downgrade to your life. The ego is what mainly controls your emotions, thoughts, feelings and actions. People fail to understand that your ego doesn’t have to define you nor is it always accurate. Ego is what makes a general statement or opinion seem personal; so personal that now you have an emotion towards the speaker that is negative. STOP TAKING SHIT PERSONALLY. In reality, most people aren’t even thinking about you.

There is a huge difference between confidence and ego. Confidence is normal and healthy but egos are destructive and catastrophic. If you can’t tell the difference, please read carefully. Your confidence is your motivation to move forward. Your ego is what makes everything a competition no matter who the opponent is. Don’t let your ego take over because pride goes before the fall. Simply put, when you accentuate too much ego into your ability to do things, something bad will happen that shows that you are not as good as you think. Thus, you must learn to humble yourself.

Check out Episode 11 ❤️

Relax and enjoy life’s journey

I always believed it’s not about the speed but the direction that you are going in! You can be moving at the speed of light but if you are headed for a ditch, what good does that do you? Be aware of your power and motivation as well. Never let any undesirable situation alter your character. Fab said it best: “They gon’ talk about you when you ain’t got shit, But then they gon’ talk about you when you got shit, And see they gon’ talk even though they don’t know, what you had to do or what you go through”(Sacrifices- Fabolous) Never forget when Naomi Campbell wore couture her whole community service term and was criticized in the media for it but if she dressed bummy she would’ve been criticized too. Don’t worry about pleasing others because some people will never be satisfied. Some get a rise or happiness from seeing others crumble. Those people shouldn’t even have the privilege of you acknowledging their opinion. They live by the code of “misery loves company.”

What’s the rush to know the answer of life anyway? It would be boring if we knew. The excitement and thrill comes from the journey it takes to gather a sliver of information each day. I love a challenge. It lets me know I’m alive! I mentioned in an old post, expanding your comfort zone. It’s honestly easier now than ever before. For example, some of my ancestors didn’t have the luxury of exploring what they wanted. They just had to stay black and die. I want more out of life since I have the opportunities to do so. Being able to say I did or attempted to succeed at my dreams is a big accomplishment for me. Even when I wanna be depressed or feel down I have to remember that my drive and destiny will always be in my soul. I have to hold onto that otherwise I fall into the normal human abyss. Do you know where most dreams live? In the cemetery. Don’t let your dreams and goals die with you. Take a small step if needed everyday but it makes you that much closer to your goal than yesterday. To quote Lil Wayne, “Real G’s (gangsters) move in silence, like lasagna.” Keep your moves to yourself and let your outcomes speak for you instead. Your true “followers” will respect you more for it and possibly follow in your footsteps.

Value yourself!

To say love yourself is too cliché. Value contains a stronger and fulfilling meaning. Value means one’s judgment of what is important in life. You ever catch yourself daydreaming about someone else or envious of how one’s life may be perceived online. In the end, you are left feeling self doubt, self conscious, empty and inadequate. But why? As humans we dwell too much on what we don’t have, rather than focusing on what we do have! It’s that simple. Once you know your standards and your worth, your decision-making skills become much easier. One thing to keep in mind is, there is always someone who has it worse than you. There are people that would kill to live in your skin. That’s powerful. Keeping that in mind allows the value to stay relevant.

Simply put mind your business! Cardi B once said, “You know who pop the most shit? The people who shit not together!” It’s so true though. If you got time to worry and talk about me then you’re a loser to me. You could be spending your time doing something else to better your life, your family or the world. Plus, those things make your soul feel more fulfilled and nourished. One of my flaws is trying to understand the fallen souls. I feel I was placed on this planet to help restore balance no matter where I’m at or who I’m talking to. It doesn’t always end in a happy ending but the fact that I planted the seed of hope in their minds’ is all the satisfaction I need. Value is also belief. Believing in anything is very powerful and holds a large amount of energy. You literally make your own reality. People who typically complain a lot aren’t happy with themselves so they project. People who typically are positive are satisfied with their lives. They overstand that their emotions control their actions. The difference is one of them is willing to maintain the control of themselves. Complainers are the extras in their life. Positive people are their own directors and producers. So take control of the most important role of your life, loving and valuing yourself.

Check out the latest podcast episode

Love life pending

I used to believe I was cursed when it came to love that’s why I haven’t had a successful relationship. But that belief messed with my mental causing me to really agree with myself for awhile. I know I’m not the only one! As an enlightened spirit, I realized the right one will take time. I encompass rare qualities that only like minded humans can understand but I’m also grasping new ideals, trying to apply them to my life. In realizing that, I learned I have to grow for myself which made me take a step back and re-evaluate my life or re-identify myself and what I truly want out of life. In my experience, propaganda has played a huge part of what I thought I wanted in life. Disney movies always seemed to have a common theme: distraught woman or a princess waiting to be saved by a man or prince. Of course I thought I had to do the same, but it’s not a necessity to have a man just a luxury as Cher has said before.

I have been feeling lately that my focus being on my career will lead down the path of meeting my soulmate. I’m not waiting around though, but I’m open to the idea. I also have accepted the fact that I may be a single woman forever and that’s fine! After having a child, I have a new priority. My main concern is assisting my child on her journey in life. I felt my mother lacked being supportive of things I enjoyed doing and was more supportive when it had to do with something she desired for me. I am grateful to have experienced that even though it was painful to go through sometimes. In this lesson, I will ALWAYS openly show my support for whatever makes my child happy. Just to see her explore the world is one of the best and newest emotion that I ever felt and I can’t wait to watch her grow. Basically the love of my life will always be my child. And anyone that enters my life romantically has to overstand that and be willing to join the ride ! More importantly, the more I love myself, the more positive energy (that is meant to be in my life) I am welcoming into my electrical field. I’m going to continue on my life’s path and let the adventures take me on a spiritual ride.

Watch the latest podcast episode

Energy

Have you ever asked yourself why energy is so important? I’m not talking bout your electricity in your home lol. I’m referring to human beings. We are energy pure and simple which is why we are supposed to eat electric rather than dead food. Why do you think radiation works on humans? We possess an energy that can alter our health. Ever heard of someone dying of a broken heart ? For example, you can be in a room and literally feel the energy regardless of your knowledge of peoples’ situations or drama. If you CANNOT feel that energy when you enter ANY room, please reevaluate your life because something is seriously off in your vibrational field or you could be seriously distracted. When that’s awry then you get sick often, drama seems to follow you and you may feel cursed or doomed with bad luck. It’s really because you are running away from your true self whether you acknowledge it or not.

Believe it or not, our universe runs on this energy. So when people say manifest your destiny as in speaking things into reality, they aren’t bullshitting you. It only works because they believe. Such as voodoo, only works if you believe in the superstition because everything is based on your perception. If you believe people aren’t trustworthy, you will live your life with worry, fear and probably be afraid to build genuine relationships. This can block your blessings guaranteed. It’s not your surroundings it’s you at this point lol. Once you decide to take action, things will work out, I promise. Faith is a huge impact on how our reality shapes us. Belief is very important to humans because it motivates and molds how we feel about ourselves. It also gives humans a meaning in life so be careful what you truly believe in, like religion for example. Religion was created for humans to rely on something intangible because the belief and “HISTORY” that they believe resonates strong in their soul. And history is just a packed of lies agreed upon. “His Story”.

Know that you have the power just as your “creator”. It’s within you. I’m not religious anymore but if we were created in the “creators” image then obviously every aspect of our being contains that of our “creators”. Just have faith in your self and your morals. Life isn’t meant to be easy but with guidance it’s doable. Bottom line, choose how you distribute your energy wisely.

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