I’m going to caution my readers that this blog is very deep and may sadden some, but my purpose is to educate anyone who is willing to listen. So, recently my cousin committed suicide. When I heard the news, my thoughts were running wild and my emotions were at a standstill. I realized how distant I was with some of my family, not by choice, because of the paths that our lives were taking us. It opened my eyes to reach out to my family whenever I could just to keep the connection open. I’m not saying I could’ve prevented it but it lets me know some of us are suffering in silence. For some background, I have a huge family, no exaggeration. My grandfather had 16 siblings and they averaged 5 children each in which their children had at least 3 so you can only imagine the numbers. With a family so big, this tragedy was heightened even more. So many people spoke to him the day before. It’s baffling but our society doesn’t welcome men expressing their feelings especially men of color. They are raised to protect and give the family strength. Universe only knows what was burdening him but it was enough for him to throw in the towel. I, myself had a similar experience but I was blessed to be given another chance at life. But given my family’s current situation it makes me wonder how many people I really affected just be attempting. The mere thought of my physical body being gone sent people in my life through a whirlwind. I had to apologize to them because I was being selfish and it wasn’t fair to them. Honestly, my father saved my life.
I have always believed that we are closer to the spiritual realm than we are told but you wouldn’t know until you experienced something that placed you on the border of life and death. Patience is something that I learned in my journey as well. Loving everyone and everything for what or who they are without sacrificing how it affects your own self esteem/worth. Life is about over standing what’s real and what appears to be. No matter your age, life will continue giving you lessons. All you can do is learn from them and hopefully be able to expand your comfort zone because the world is all of ours; we just have to hone on its beauty.
Vent! Letting It All Air Out 